Blurred Trust

Sometimes I want to control everything and *know* how it will all turn out. But I can't always do this -- or even, ever do this.

I am learning to trust the unknowing -- to allow the faint glimmers I see to be enough information for now.

Will it all turn out alright?

Will the day unfold as sunny or cloudy?

I don't know right now -- but I am learning to trust that I will be able handle whatever comes my way...

How to Ponder

"...As the bee collects nectar and departs
without harming the flower or its colour or scent,
so let the sage live in a village.
Not the faults of others
nor their errors of commission or omission,
but one's own errors and omissions should the sage consider..."

-- Buddha

The Seeds of Empowerment

For the last four days I have been working in the yard -- gardening and planting a meadow.

Although I live in the suburbs I have a large yard that is divided into two sections -- one that is close to the house and gets a lot of use -- and one that is farther back and doesn't "do" too much.

This year I decided to put that back section to work!

I am turning it into a meadow -- a field of wildflowers. I have tilled the land and planted 6 pounds of wildflower seeds (that's a lot!)

I dream of living in "the country" but have no plans to move there just yet -- so instead, I am bringing "the country" to me...

The Fortune of Presence

When I get up close and peer quietly into, what feels to me like, the heart and soul of the Dogwood tree, I truly have a hard time finding words to explain how special I find her tender and delicate beauty -- and also, I find it hard to explain how privileged I feel to be her witness.

Trusting the Misunderstanding

Tender little flower buds like this one are found on the "prickle bushes" in my yard. I actually never noticed them before. They probably come every spring but this is the first time I took such close note.

This sweet yellow bud is smaller than a pea but yet it blooms forth with abandon to attract insects for pollination...

Of course the thorn is there to protect the vulnerable bud from larger scavengers and invaders -- animals that might eat her because she is pretty -- but does the bud understand that the thorn is there to help?

The bud does what she does but at the same time does she appreciate the reality that something everyone else fears, or at the very least misunderstands, is her protector?

Is it even important that the bud understand this purpose of the thorn or is it enough that she trusts it and so blooms in its presence?

The Wise World

Whenever I think there is "nothing to photograph" all I have to do is get down, close to the ground, and use macro. It's a whole new world -- and such a wise world too.

The details I see when in the "macro world" are, actually, awe-inspiring way far beyond the mundane limits of my life.

I can get wrapped up thinking the daily details of my life are important but then, when I look at all the gazillions and gazillions -- and even *more* gazillions -- of details in the macro world I am humbled and my chattering brain comes to a quick (and welcome, I must say) standstill.

I begin to grasp that the details of my world are as passing as the seeds of this dandelion. They come, they go, they serve a purpose, they are done.

Really, there is no need to get so wrapped up in each and every gazillion detail.

It's enough to trust that they all serve purpose and when the purpose is over the detail will move on...

Coming Out From Under

I've been having a headache/migraine for the past 5 days. It is not fun. When I am in the throws of the headache it feel like I am this tree, enveloped in the fog of pain (to put it mildly).

But I am starting to come out now and that clearing away of the mist is as refreshing (and welcome) as this tree is beautiful as it emerges from its own haze...

The Woman Inside

Along with Lilacs, another favorite spring flower of mine is Lily of the Valley.

It seems that the smaller the flower is (the more dainty and delicate it is) the more I am attracted to it.

Now, you must know, I am *not* a dainty and delicate woman!

Hmmmm, must be something about my alter-ego... :)

Spring in the City

Yesterday was a beautiful foggy morning so I got up and ran out to be a part of it. For two hours I wandered in my "urban oasis" city-park called, Forest Hill Park -- and it was magical.

Aside from the lovely misty and mysterious energy in the air, encouraged by the fog (and I'll have some photos of *that* beauty coming up soon), I was given an incredible treat of spending time with a herd of deer. I don't mean one or two deer -- I'm talking about a whole herd. I counted 10 of them.

I know this isn't such an amazing experience in and of itself, but I live in a first-ring suburb of a city of about 500,000 people. Forest Hill Park is only about five miles from the center of that city. It's a small space but somehow seems to have provided shelter so that a whole herd of deer could develop this spring.

I try not to think about where they all will go (since surely the space of Forest Hill Park is too small to contain them for long) as I bid the gentle creatures safe passage on their journeys and I remember the special morning I spent with them.

Psychedelilacs

I truly can not get enough of my Lilacs.

Each bud, budding flower or bloom is so unique and special to my eyes.

The immensity of their variations is like stars in the sky to me -- and I am left feeling such contentment and security in my amazement at the force behind their beauty...

Continuing Intrigue

Spring is so full of freshness and newness -- and I clearly find that inspiring and encouraging -- but I must say that aged flowers, which have somehow survived the winter, are also very intriguing to me.

These mature blooms may have their "best" days behind them but they are still as beautiful and unique as ever.

Lessons from a Bloom

Spring blooms are so graceful, humble, beautiful, mysterious, eager and optimistic -- even in the rain.