This autumn country road is beautiful -- but I can't enjoy it. The road is curving up around the bend and I don't know where it's going. For a minor league control freak like me, that unknowing is quite unsettling.
I want to rush through this curve to see what it around the corner. I want to zoom by the gorgeous fall colors just to be certain that nothing bad is waiting for me around the bend. Intellectually I can see the colors of the trees and know that they are beautiful -- but I don't feel it. I am too busy being worried...
I am challenged to work on being in the "here and now" when change is impending.
It's easy for me to relax in the middle of July when summer is surrounding me but in the transition seasons I lose my grounding. I find myself nostalgic for the past and worrying about the future. It's a vicious circle that takes away all of my enjoyment of the present.
I strive to be able to pull up a Lazy-Boy chair in my mind, right there in the middle of the tall grass of this scene, and take time to breathe in the beauty I see around me to the deepest parts of my still un-trusting soul.
I want to enjoy the "here and now" before it so quickly becomes the "there and then."
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