Safely Growing

This little bud appears so definite and self-assured of reaching greater heights, but, at the same time, she has tentacles (what else are they?) to clear her way and make sure the path is safe for growth.

The diminutive bud isn't just aimlessly or recklessly growing upward and outward but instead she has purpose and direction and intention in her growth and the tentacles are actually discovering the path first and then are leading the bloom to follow.

I'm thinking the bud will grow taller and stronger than she might have because of the "clearing of the path" and guidance that the exploratory tentacles provide.

The best part is that the tentacles are of the bloom's own making.

The Sweet Exhale

I am not a cold weather person. I like temperatures that begin around 75 and go up from there. Needless to say, winter is a difficult season for me.

When I take a walk these days and see the brilliant Forsythia bush in full bloom I nearly viscerally feel my whole spirit, and maybe my soul too, exhale. Certainly my body relaxes the tension it was holding during the winter months and I can tangibly sense the promise of summer (my favorite season) which I know, when I see the Forsythia, is certain to be coming along soon.

The funny thing is that I don't particularly like the color yellow -- and I don't feel any affinity with the Forsythia, but I can't deny that when she reaches her full bloom the relief I feel at knowing that the worst of the winter season is over is *so* sweet to me that Forsythia, for the time-being, is my most favorite of them all...

Seeking Out

As the suns becomes brighter and warmer with each passing day I feel like this tender little flower tentatively seeking out from her winter hiding place.

Quietly, and with anticipation, she is curious to see all the new-born and re-born wonders that the Spring might deliver...

Enjoying the Journey

I *adore* lilacs -- especially the purple ones.

Ever since I was a little girl purple was my favorite color and to see it so unabashedly expressed in nature, by the lilac bush, is exciting for me.

These purple lilac budlings will be bursting forth any day now and although I am waiting patiently for them to take their time in emerging, I am very much looking forward to when they do.

But even before the flowers do emerge I find the budlings to be just as intriguing as the sweet and beautiful flowers they will become. I enjoy looking closely at all the intricate patterns of the buds as they crowd next to each other making their space, and place, in the future bunch. Although I am eager for the bloomed flowers, I slow myself down to enjoy observing the budlings just as much.

It's another reminder for me to value the journey as much as the destination.

Well, finally Spring is beginning to arrive here, and not a moment too soon!

Although I try to remain stoic during the winter months I can't help but *exalt* when I see the first stirrings of new buds and growth. It is so reassuring when the cycle starts around again.

Quiet Beauty

Winter has always been a time of hibernation for me. It's cold, mostly dark and it takes too long for me to bundle up properly in order to go outside (I end up losing interest by the time I arrive at tying my scarf!)

But lately I've been so amazed and grateful for the beauty that is around me during the winter months. The beauty isn't what I typically like -- which is found in the bright colors of flowers or the rich greens of mature trees -- but rather I'm starting to see the beauty of winter in that it is understated and confident.

The quiet beauty of winter is found in lines and shadows and brilliant reflections of light. It's not a loud, 'proactive' beauty that proclaims itself but instead it is more subdued and 'reactive' and, really, it has nothing to prove. The beauty of winter simply 'is'.

As grow into myself, I'm finding that the sun illuminating the quiet stillness of a subdued and confident winter is a form of beauty that makes sense to me. It is winter's acceptance of itself and what it 'is' that puts it in a position to be enhanced and made beautiful by the sun.

Fingers Towards the Skies

A Tree

A tree beside the sandy
River-beach
Holds up its topmost boughs
Like fingers towards the skies
They cannot reach,
Earth-bound, heaven-amorous.

This is the soul of man.
Body and brain
Hungry for earth
our heavenly flight detain.

--Sri Aurobindo

The Patience of Growth

So how does this sprig of life do it? How does she maintain her composure while being nearly engulfed by blanketing snow? How does she maintain her tender layer of fuzz all over her needles while the snow around her attempts to overtake her?

This sprig is no more than three inches tall, yet she persists in making her way through the journey of the seasons. She doesn't seem to be concerned with how much or how fast she grows, just that she is still here and still strong as winter encroaches. She knows the cold season won't last forever and soon the warm sun will encourage her growth again...

In waiting patiently for spring to arrive, and not fully succumbing to the tendency of winter slumber, this elegant sprig of life is still growing -- in that she is learning patience.

The Glow of the Future

So I see this little twig sticking out of the snow, as me, at the halfway point (approximately!) of my life.

I have a choice at this juncture to see my twig self as facing to the left with the long shadow caused by the glowing sun as my past that is following me, never to be released....

....Or, I can see myself as facing to the right with the shadow that is caused by the glowing sun as my future that is long and looming ahead of me full of possibilities and journeys I've only begun to dream of envisioning.

Turning 40 is, for me, about making choices for myself and being more the mistress of my destiny than the victim of my past.

I know which way I choose to see my twig facing...

Learning to Sail

So I've been thinking about teamwork lately - and how I'm a better person when I'm in a team.

As an "only" child I grew up quite self-sufficient in entertaining myself and relying on myself and forming an opinion that "independence" was something I did by myself, for myself.

But as I move forward into my 40's I am seeing a new side of, "independence."

I am pleasantly surprised at how my "independence of spirit" is actually encouraged and enhanced by my connections to others. Wow! (This is sort of big for me).

With support and caring from others around me I can feel a distinct flow of energy that is actually working toward encouraging me to be my, "best self" and it helps me to move in the direction I want to move for my spirit.

Before, in the past, striving to be my, "best self" was something that I felt was a solitary endeavor -- that only "I" was able to achieve on my own (and the more lonely and stoic, the better!)

Connecting with others is still interesting for me but as I do more of it, and as I find the people I want to be connected with, I'm finding so much more energy to pursue the, "independence of my spirit" than when I was trying to sail without wind.

Basking in the Glow

Sometimes things go right in my life. Much more often, lately, than they ever did before.

When I look at this pear I see a ripe and contented creation of the universe that is comfortable in her skin.

She is nearing her prime -- when she will become ready to fall from the tree and provide nourishment for another creature -- but for now she is tending to her own needs.

The pear is receiving strength and energy from the sun and she is allowing it to help her grow.

The Present Beauty

This autumn country road is beautiful -- but I can't enjoy it. The road is curving up around the bend and I don't know where it's going. For a minor league control freak like me, that unknowing is quite unsettling.

I want to rush through this curve to see what it around the corner. I want to zoom by the gorgeous fall colors just to be certain that nothing bad is waiting for me around the bend. Intellectually I can see the colors of the trees and know that they are beautiful -- but I don't feel it. I am too busy being worried...

I am challenged to work on being in the "here and now" when change is impending.

It's easy for me to relax in the middle of July when summer is surrounding me but in the transition seasons I lose my grounding. I find myself nostalgic for the past and worrying about the future. It's a vicious circle that takes away all of my enjoyment of the present.

I strive to be able to pull up a Lazy-Boy chair in my mind, right there in the middle of the tall grass of this scene, and take time to breathe in the beauty I see around me to the deepest parts of my still un-trusting soul.

I want to enjoy the "here and now" before it so quickly becomes the "there and then."

To Be Cradled in Transition

Sometimes in life I just need to retreat and slow down everything. I need to turn off the chatter of daily life, and the chatter in my mind, and focus inward on more steady and stable truths.

I find I need this especially before new changes are about to occur. I seem to need the retreat time to nurture my self, and my soul, in preparation for the changes which often can be unsettling in their new unfamiliarity.

I "know" that change is good...that without change there would be stagnation...but nevertheless, my sensibilities still find the transition into change to be challenging...

I love this little acorn that is taking a rest in the comfort of the leaf -- the leaf which probably came from the same tree the acorn was from before it fell to the ground. The little acorn is gathering its energy to prepare for the next phase of its journey, that of becoming a magnificent tree, and it finds comfort in hanging on, for just a little while longer, to the old relationship with the leaf.

Soon the acorn *will* blow away and lodge itself in the earth to eventually become the tree it was meant to be, but for now -- it rests.

Do you give yourself time to slow down, retreat and gather your energies before new changes happen in your life?

The End is Only the Beginning

So Autumn is heavily upon us here in the northern midwest state of Ohio. I usually don't like the Fall season. It portends colder temperatures which I don't like and also the ending of flowers and meadows which I love so much. Fall actually brings me a bit of anxiety with it's process of ending the summer revelry...

But this photo is intriguing for me. I see it as two youngster leaves eager to join in the Fall festivities. Even before the older, elder leaves have begun their journey into wintertime and their next incarnation, the young leaves have jumped into the spirit of the season with full force.

What does this mean for me exactly? I'm not totally sure. Something about eager anticipation, the rush of youth, trust in the future, unconditional acceptance.

The juvenile leaves aren't afraid of the ending which Autumn signals -- they have embraced it as the beginning of an adventure into the unknown.

Lessons from a Grasshopper

You've gotta start somewhere... Just do it... One step at a time...

I watched this grasshopper for several minutes as she negotiated the challenge of the vertical obstacle she wanted to overcome.

Of course she could have jumped using all the power of her back legs. She's very good at jumping. But in this situation jumping would have led to a nice headache.

So instead, the grasshopper slowly and carefully stepped off of the piece of wood while reaching with her front legs.

She then used her back legs, the jumping legs, for support only. The grasshopper steadied herself for a few moments, with her jumping legs stilled, until she found her bearings and felt comfortable.

After some time the grasshopper felt strong enough to release the back leg of support and grasp the wall fully with all four of her legs.

She then scrambled up the wall and jumped over it to be rewarded with the open patch of grass on the other side.

Mutual Curiosity

I love my suburban backyard wildlife habitat....

This little chipmunk was so brave to peek around the fence slat to see what I was up to as I wandered around the backyard looking for photo-ops. She/he seemed to be saying, "Who are you? What are you doing? Do you have a family? What are you all about?"

Or maybe it was I who wondered those things about her/him! :)

Cycle of Renewal

There is pretty much nothing better than fresh fruit or vegetables right off the tree/bush/vine or whatever.

I took this luscious photo, "Apples in a Basket" in Russia, at the dacha house (summer cottage home). The dacha only has electricity and no running water. We spent our weekends there during my time in Russia and I loved every minute of it. This basket was filled in preparation to take back to the city so we could eat apples all week long.

My morning ritual at the dacha was to wake up and go outside to the "outhouse" and then pick a fresh apple right off the tree to eat as my morning toothbrushing session and breakfast appetizer.

As I walked the land and chomped on the fruit, knowing that when I was done I would throw the core onto the compost heap to later become sustenance for new growth, I relaxed into a calm sense of the tangible cycle of renewal of which, in my own small way, I was a part.

Cultural Eating

Well, I love eating in any case but cultural eating is even better! It's an adventure to try to new foods and explore new tastes.

This plate of Russian food was very tasty. I don't really know what everything was except that it was quite good!

(I'm still trying to tackle the Russian photos so hopefully I'll have more up to share very soon.)

A Place of Peace

So, I've been neglecting the blog once again! Right after coming back from Russia I made a quick (and wonderful) trip to Monterey, California. I've been busy!

I am not naturally a, "water person" so the ocean has never really pulled at my soul-strings but I must say that the scenery of the Californian coast is just utterly gorgeous. It's hard to capture it in a photo (but I tried). :)

I was much more soothed by the sound of the breathing ocean than I thought I would be. I always imagine scary and indefinite depths when I think of the ocean but as I walked along it's shores and absorbed it's pulse I felt the calming rhythm I've heard so much about...

Bless the Beasts

I'm back from Russia (I'm sorry to have left you hanging for so long, I should have said that I was going for 5 weeks) and I had an AMAZING and WONDERFUL and INCREDIBLE time and I would love nothing more than to share some of the 2800(!!) photos I took on the trip -- but first I have to share this video with you.

I'm not sure I've mentioned it yet -- really it was only a matter of time -- but the fact remains that I love wolves especially and bears too.

Wolves, bears and all animals speak to our spirits. They are integral parts of the web of life in which we live on this planet and finding respect for them is a basic foundation block of compassion and gratitude.

I'm baffled at how humans can express cruelty to fellow living creatures so remorselessly by stalking them until they are too exhausted to run anymore....

This video is devastating. I'm sorry it is disturbing. It is important.